Do like this guy did...

well actually I've had my share of both assholes and nice guys, and I've found that I prefer the guys that I love. You can't force yourself to have feelings that aren't there. I've wished that I could before, but it doesnt work like that..

I wasn't going to mention it, because I hate rubbing "haha I'm happy and your not" into peoples faces. But I do have an incredibly awesome boyfriend that I have been with for 3 years. And it was one of those "love and first sight" things.

I hardly see him because we are long distance, and school and work everyday. But I'm willing to go through these trials, because this is the man I love. I'm very dedicated person for someone of my age, you won't see many 20 year olds being able to handle long distance.

that being said, I have like no friends. Most girls I meet aren't interested in the things I like. and I'm not about to compromise what I enjoy just to go and have a miserable time at some bar. and every guy I meet is only interested in being my friend up intil the point they find out that I have a boyfriend, and that I am dedicated to him, and that there is no chance in hell they would be more than just friends with me.

I think it must be a hard concept for alot of men to understand, because at the end of the day you will still have your friends. While I'm just that bitch that won't cheat on her boyfriend.

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The lovers, the dreamers, and me.

Assholes seem to get farther in life. Nice people are just used. Doesnt mean to be an asshole though. Who knows maybe something will go right :P





























im still waiting....

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UPDATE:

I finished Maio's book. Now just to give it to her, currently it's 60 pages, but i plan to add like 10 more tonight. I will also be taking scans of some of the pages (the bulk of the book is an initial letter that is around 20-odd pages long, which would be pointless to scan, and anything else i choose not to scan will be for personal reasons) Check back later tonight if you're interested in seeing it.

some pages:

http://www.dirkeffertz.com/book

nobody cares

I once said this to someone else, and I think it helped. You can't control or affect someone elses actions, thought, or emotions. All you can do is control your own. It would be so easy if we could look at a person and say I want you forever and for it to come true. But that involves someone else. IMO before you can ever be happy with someone else, you need to be happy with yourself. My best advice is to take control of your life - do the things that make you a better person. If you and she were meant to be - some day it might happen. You can't go through life waiting for something to happen that never will.

The most important thing - while you can lie to other people about what you're feeling or the things that happen, don't ever lie to yourself. If you can't be honest to yourself about what happens, you'll never move on.

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Don't fix me -- I'm not broken!
Yarr's love slave.

why is it every post today im thinking the same thing as cyntari.....

yeh i knwo it all, and honestly, i'm really done with the situation and have been focusing on what i need to do to make myself feel confident and draw people to me.. why should seeing hot chicks make me depressed? I have a ton of shit going for me, i will do what i can to make myself appealing.. and then i will play everyone for not liking me when i was gross and broke mwhahahaha

but really i was just looking for feedback on my book that i did as my goodbye present to the love of my life.. here's the link again for those who missed it the first time: http://www.dirkeffertz.com/book