Yarr The Pirate!
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long gay rant about nothing feel free to not view
http://www.yarrthepirate.com/phpbb3/viewtopic.php?f=5&t=5588		 Page 1 of 1
Author:  Jimbean [ Mon Jul 04, 2005 11:47 pm ]
Post subject:  long gay rant about nothing feel free to not view
especially don't read any further if you just plan on bashing me for being a real person with real emotions.

This game is a serious mindfuck. I have this desire to play it and I don't even know why. All it does is frustrate the shit out of me, piss off my friends and family irl, suck me for money every month, and when i spend every waking hour i can playing it never feels like enough, or is sattisfying in the way i thought it would be.

like for example i had off the last 5 days. i spent nearly everyday from waking up til going to sleep sitting in front of my television screen. and the weather has been beautiful, i wouldn't have known if i didn't smoked and hadn't had to go buy cigarettes. and here it is midnight and i know i should go to bed because i have work in 7 hours, but i'll stay up til 5 to hit lvl 62 smn. and you know what, i'll go to bed feeling unsattisfied even if i do.

I don't know what i expected of this game and i don't know why i hang on. At one point it was hella fun, making friends, doing tons of events. . . dreaming of one day being "uber". Now i look at my friends list and resent almost every single one of them and I don't know why. But i sure as hell wouldn't think to send them a tell just to say hi and see how they are.

I'm in a fucked up position atm, I'm sort of trapped in this weird limbo stage in many aspects of the game. I want to play, but I acheived a lot of what i set out to for myself, and the limited content at endgame is dissapointing to say the least. I want to be a nice guy and trust ppl and be friendly and joke around with folks w/o wondering if they think i'm some newb clown and are going to talk shit behind my back. But then, I also get so sickeened and bitter by the noobishness and snobbery and elitism i see going on in the game, that i often want to just treat ppl like shit. Likewise, my LS recently fell apart and i'm in this weird place of deciding whether i want to join some other big LS that most likely houses some people i despise, and how that will effect shit. Or just go out on my own, missing sky and endgame events, but being in the trenches with ppl who are just in the game for the love of leveling and meeting new ppl.

I dunno why i pour my heart out to this board, and i dunno how the ppl who visit it everyday think/feel about me, and i don't know whether to care or not. But i needed to tell someone who would maybe relate to how i felt... and well check my previous statement about my friends list. So yah if any of you been where i been know you're not alone. Sometimes I think ppl forget that it's real ppl with real emotions behind these characters and everything they do in the game is so calculated and everyone is so safe about their rep and who they can and can't associate with and what they can and can't do. whatever happened to just smoking a joint, playing the game for a few hours, and having a ton of fun. Now it just feels like some empty addiction that i can't kick but still fiend to use even though it fulfills nothing inside me.

Jimbean
75whm/62smn/40brd/38blm/31war/20war/18nin/18thf/18mnk
98.6 cooking
and still no respect from anyone
Author:  Talisin [ Mon Jul 04, 2005 11:55 pm ]
Post subject: 
k
Author:  Ponuh [ Tue Jul 05, 2005 12:03 am ]
Post subject: 
Talisin wrote:
k


I like the dancing crab
Author:  Arim [ Tue Jul 05, 2005 12:06 am ]
Post subject: 
just limit yourself on playing this game =/
what i did
3-4hrs max then i stop and do something else, besides game gets boring if you play constantly
Author:  Ponuh [ Tue Jul 05, 2005 12:09 am ]
Post subject: 
Arim wrote:
just limit yourself on playing this game =/
what i did
3-4hrs max then i stop and do something else, besides game gets boring if you play constantly


Lol. The difference is...

he actually ACHIEVED something first. See?
Author:  Jimbean [ Tue Jul 05, 2005 12:16 am ]
Post subject: 
sometimes the way you guys reply to my "honest" posts makes me wish i had administrative rights to delete topics :D
Author:  Arim [ Tue Jul 05, 2005 12:17 am ]
Post subject: 
ponuh wrote:

Lol. The difference is...

he actually ACHIEVED something first. See?


ponuh, you know nothing of what ive done since you've left.


sry jim i was actually staying on topic... =/
Author:  Hobbes [ Tue Jul 05, 2005 12:19 am ]
Post subject: 
I didnt read any of what you said, because i'm in a rush to leave, but I saw the last line and I'll let you know that I respect you Jim, you were the best whm i've ever pt'd with way back when we were 55 or something. I see you in game alot, and I think about waving. but then I decide not to, because you probably wouldn't remember me anyway. Don't let the game rule you. Take a few months break, thats what I did. and it feels much better, I'm not fully immersed with it anymore, Like I used to be.
Author:  Severus [ Tue Jul 05, 2005 12:23 am ]
Post subject: 
You know what makes me sick. This is kind of a serious post because people actually feel like this and the spammers feel they have to add their input of NOTHING!
Author:  Arim [ Tue Jul 05, 2005 4:10 am ]
Post subject: 
i respect you jim <3
maybe we can pt on your smn, and start a lil perma with my war friend and look all gangster and stuff lol
Author:  Pix [ Tue Jul 05, 2005 6:16 am ]
Post subject: 
People fucking post retarded shit when someone is being completely serious and is looking for answers. Don't post if you have nothing on topic to say. Half the threads on these forums are about one thing, then they go to another.
Author:  Reinheld [ Tue Jul 05, 2005 6:25 am ]
Post subject: 
If this is the way you feel, I think you should just quit and move on with your life. FFXI is a fucking parasite. Haha. It's really not worth the trouble. 90% of the people are retards, the Japanese are fucking annoying, and it while the game itself is pretty cool and has cool things... as Vurin said elsewhere on the boards, it punishes you every step of the way.

It's just not worth it. Haha. Fuck the game and go bang some broads. Though you're from Long Island too, so that might not be such a a good idea. Girls around here are like walking VDs.
Author:  Kazekuro [ Tue Jul 05, 2005 6:48 am ]
Post subject: 
Hey man, don't let the game get to you, after all it's not really there for anything more than to entertain you. If you don't feel fulfilled, or if you feel as if you haven't accomplished anything (though you surely have) don't worry about it, pretty much everyone in this game is gonna feel that way sooner or later. Pretty much I think things more or less are along the lines of this general trend for the average gamer.

Start out with hopes and dreams, thinking of all the great stuff you're going to do, and then you finally go out and do almost all of it as you're going through the game. You meet alot of people that you come to call your friends, and you connect with alot of people. But in all of that, you find yourself a little disappoint. Why is it that this happens? I don't know, why is it you still feel this frustrated urge to do something about it? Because you aren't satisfied with how much you've accomplished. The goals that you have met are very lofty indeed and you should be proud of what you've done.

I can tell you one thing, after you beat the game fully it'll probably leave you with an empty feeling of, "Ok. . . now what do I do?" but you know what, it's just a game. These things happen. You get so sucked into it that you don't realize it will have an end, or will come to an end eventually. All you can do is brace yourself, and look back on all the good times you've had, and move on with things.

I agree with some of the other posters, take some time off, and go do things with your life. I know you'll feel a little better about it.

Sorry to see you down Jim, even though I haven't really talked with you all that much in game, I still think you're a cool guy. Anyone who can actually feel emotion in this game, and see the reality behind it deserves my sentiment. Hope things look up for you soon. Send a tell if ya wanna talk. :) You're on my friend list for a reason you know.
Author:  Elderofwoe [ Tue Jul 05, 2005 7:03 am ]
Post subject: 
C.C errrrrrm do what I did take time off till you actually want to come back then when you do just play around as you stated endgame is quite boring I am not saying like never do endgame stuff just do it when your in the mood no need to force yourself to do something you dislike I may not know you and I am shear you don’t know me but I have herd your quite a good player and a very nice guy so I respect you for that ^.^.

PS: Excuse the crappy spelling and grammar please lol.
Author:  Jimbean [ Tue Jul 05, 2005 9:09 am ]
Post subject: 
Whoa, I have to admit I was kind of embarassed about this post after i made it, because it's almost too honest (I hear that Rivers Cuomo had a similar reaction after releasing Pinkerton) and I know i'm a pretty sensitive guy, and I've made "crying" posts on this board before... I also know that there seems to be a lot of "tough guys" in the game and on the board who like to make ppl feel like shit for being open about their thoughts and feelings pertaining to the game, however I really had no one else to rant to, so my apologies.

Thanks a bunch to the folks who replied with sincere honest answers. I was thinking about how I was feeling and I remember someone not too long ago posted an article on how MMORPGs make you more addicted over time by making it harder to acheive things and giving you less of a reward when you do, thus making you work harder and harder for nothing in the end. Maybe I'm just in the grips of that.

I think it may just be the shock of not having an endgame LS, well at least not one that is very active atm and may continue to be inactive, especially considering that I went from one really active LS to another, so it's been a good year or longer of getting used to that type of an environment. Or maybe I'm just freaked cuz pretty much the only person I talk to and understands my feelings towards the game is on vacation right now and her future in the game kinda hangs in the balance which is really scary for me, cuz she's always been good at helping me rationalize things.

People just really disappointed me from my last LS, people who i thought were my friends and family and at the first sign of trouble went scampering off to some other LS. Actually, I wouldn't have been so upset about that, if they hadn't professed how much they loved the shell and how "families fight" and they wanted to stick around and stick it out. I've never really come out and said publically how much ti hurt me and somewhat destroyed my faith in people in this game... but it did.

I've always been a loyal player and always felt purpose in the game by being the best i could be for my friends and family. Now i'm wondering if i really have any friends and family, and if i don't, then what's the point of getting my next job to 75, or getting 100 leathercraft on mule etc etc. ?? I started playing this game with a small group of RL friends and I probably should've just quit when they did because they seem to be the only ones who understood or felt like i do, that this game is about having fun with your friends and that's what makes it great, and although you may have fun with ppl while they're using you for something they want, know that these people are in fact using you and will move on the instant it's in their best interest to do so.

Maybe you guys are right I need a break because I'm getting way to caught up in all the petty bullshit that happens when you play this game way too much. I'll probably be around because it's really hard for me to keep away, but I do think I'm going to just go commando for awhile and be LSless and just worry about my own self for a bit. I don't know if lvling jobs on my own (because what else is there to do solo?) will be fullfilling to me, but at least it's something mindless that will suck hours away from my RL, which has always been the most appealling thing about this game.

/salute

ps. rein yr right LI girls are fucking nasty and loose
pps. arim lets perm
ppps. <3 sev, kaze, ender, hobbes
Author:  Pirato [ Tue Jul 05, 2005 10:02 am ]
Post subject:  Re: long gay rant about nothing feel free to not view
Jimbean wrote:
especially don't read any further if you just plan on bashing me for being a real person with real emotions.

This game is a serious mindfuck. I have this desire to play it and I don't even know why. All it does is frustrate the shit out of me, piss off my friends and family irl, suck me for money every month, and when i spend every waking hour i can playing it never feels like enough, or is sattisfying in the way i thought it would be.

like for example i had off the last 5 days. i spent nearly everyday from waking up til going to sleep sitting in front of my television screen. and the weather has been beautiful, i wouldn't have known if i didn't smoked and hadn't had to go buy cigarettes. and here it is midnight and i know i should go to bed because i have work in 7 hours, but i'll stay up til 5 to hit lvl 62 smn. and you know what, i'll go to bed feeling unsattisfied even if i do.

I don't know what i expected of this game and i don't know why i hang on. At one point it was hella fun, making friends, doing tons of events. . . dreaming of one day being "uber". Now i look at my friends list and resent almost every single one of them and I don't know why. But i sure as hell wouldn't think to send them a tell just to say hi and see how they are.

I'm in a fucked up position atm, I'm sort of trapped in this weird limbo stage in many aspects of the game. I want to play, but I acheived a lot of what i set out to for myself, and the limited content at endgame is dissapointing to say the least. I want to be a nice guy and trust ppl and be friendly and joke around with folks w/o wondering if they think i'm some newb clown and are going to talk shit behind my back. But then, I also get so sickeened and bitter by the noobishness and snobbery and elitism i see going on in the game, that i often want to just treat ppl like shit. Likewise, my LS recently fell apart and i'm in this weird place of deciding whether i want to join some other big LS that most likely houses some people i despise, and how that will effect shit. Or just go out on my own, missing sky and endgame events, but being in the trenches with ppl who are just in the game for the love of leveling and meeting new ppl.

I dunno why i pour my heart out to this board, and i dunno how the ppl who visit it everyday think/feel about me, and i don't know whether to care or not. But i needed to tell someone who would maybe relate to how i felt... and well check my previous statement about my friends list. So yah if any of you been where i been know you're not alone. Sometimes I think ppl forget that it's real ppl with real emotions behind these characters and everything they do in the game is so calculated and everyone is so safe about their rep and who they can and can't associate with and what they can and can't do. whatever happened to just smoking a joint, playing the game for a few hours, and having a ton of fun. Now it just feels like some empty addiction that i can't kick but still fiend to use even though it fulfills nothing inside me.

Jimbean
75whm/62smn/40brd/38blm/31war/20war/18nin/18thf/18mnk
98.6 cooking
and still no respect from anyone

It's still better than a drugs addiction.
Author:  Arim [ Tue Jul 05, 2005 10:27 am ]
Post subject:  Re: long gay rant about nothing feel free to not view
Pirato wrote:
It's still better than a drugs addiction.


thas what i tell my parents XD

anyways yea jim like another poster said, take like a week or two from the game to go hang out and catch up with friends or w/e you do, when you come back we can perma kk ^_^

and i don't like smn's to be main healers so i hope thats a good thing on your part
Author:  Parade [ Tue Jul 05, 2005 12:16 pm ]
Post subject: 
jim you prolly already got your answer by now, but i suggest to jes do what i did. the only difference was i had no choice) but just take a break start with a week and long on for like 10 mins jes to say hi, then go 2 weeks and log on jest to say hi and see whats up with everyone, then try and go a full blown month w/o logging on and then log on and say hi and see if there is anything worth while doing or lvling.. if not then jes quit. ive done this a few times and so far its worked, its got me comming back to the game. but i hope life treats you good and GL with everything else. <3 pm me about what your last pm to me was about.. i cleared my pm history and i forgot what you said...
Author:  Jimbean [ Tue Jul 05, 2005 12:30 pm ]
Post subject: 
the only thing is i have no desire to quit or take a break really. I actually really want to play the game, and look forward to it whenever i'm doing something else. Its just that i'm in this weird palce... i dunno i need friends or something
Author:  Parade [ Tue Jul 05, 2005 12:32 pm ]
Post subject: 
re-send me that PM fool!
Author:  Hobbes [ Tue Jul 05, 2005 12:46 pm ]
Post subject: 
Uninstall the game, the fear of going through all those updates should keep you from playing for awhile.
Author:  Tsusuwusu [ Tue Jul 05, 2005 3:02 pm ]
Post subject: 
Come ballista
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