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 Post subject: Letter from the Producer, XIV
PostPosted: Sat Jul 09, 2011 1:51 am 
Onionhead
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Lodestone wrote:
Letter from the Producer, XIV (07/09/2011)
Grrrreetings! It's Yoshi-P here again with a Letter that has the same number as our game, XIV!

I woke up this morning on an overseas plane and realized that our beloved game is actually not that good. I wish I had realized this sooner--I would not have joined the development team if I knew just how bad it actually was. I even played the game once about a month ago, but it just didn't sink in, I guess.

FFXIV was rushed into development because Yoichi Wada lost some money betting on goose fights and wanted some of Warcraft's market share. Rumor has it that only 3 people worked on the game, each for about 2 weeks, before it was presented to the executive board. Tanaka's powerpoint file didn't work, and he was quoted as saying, "Just trust me." Thus it was released into alpha testing.

In hindsight, none of us knew what we were thinking. An eight year old boy was brought in to come up with the jobs, abilities, and battle system. Fear not, emboldened adventurers, he has since been fired.

Once the game was released into beta testing, most of the development crew went on an 18 month vacation to Ouagadougou, which they are still on. We actually have not heard back from them, nor have we been able to find all the backup emergency funds or the porn collection that are usually here at the office. But at least they left behind some sketches of a black mage that we were able to release a few months ago.

The remaining crew here at Square Enix in Tokyo had a last minute board meeting, and one of our younger associates came up with the brilliant idea to avoid responsibility and just keep issuing random "Letters" and other such nonsense to try to delay the inevitable as long as possible. The dungeons we are "working on" don't actually exist. Ideally I would report that all the other upcoming content is fake as well except that we haven't mentioned any other content besides the two fake dungeons.

In closing, I just want to say that I am terribly terribly sorry. Just horribly grief stricken and ashamed. If anyone finds anything enjoyable about FFXIV, like Maim for instance, just write to us at the website and we'll be sure to nerf it.

Signing out,
Yoshi-P


Well that was fake. But it was fun to write. Does anyone else have any "updates?" lol

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 Post subject: Re: Letter from the Producer, XIV
PostPosted: Sat Jul 09, 2011 5:42 am 
Honey Muffin
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rotfl


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 Post subject: Re: Letter from the Producer, XIV
PostPosted: Sat Jul 09, 2011 7:10 am 
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Hahaha that was good :dbanana:

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 Post subject: Re: Letter from the Producer, XIV
PostPosted: Sat Jul 09, 2011 10:04 am 
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haha. I really want to repost that onto Alla, or something, Whisp. Hilarious.

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 Post subject: Re: Letter from the Producer, XIV
PostPosted: Sat Jul 09, 2011 10:28 am 
Onionhead
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lol kio @ that nancy grace profile pic. she's a nutcase.

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 Post subject: Re: Letter from the Producer, XIV
PostPosted: Tue Jul 12, 2011 11:56 pm 
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Whisp... Look what you started:

http://ffxiv.zam.com/forum.html?forum=1 ... 154161&p=1

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 Post subject: Re: Letter from the Producer, XIV
PostPosted: Wed Jul 13, 2011 12:20 am 
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wow so many responses!

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 Post subject: Re: Letter from the Producer, XIV
PostPosted: Wed Jul 13, 2011 9:28 am 
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Wow what a bunch of crybabies with no sense of humor. I can't believe people are defending this game and took offense to this. And how could anybody who played FFXIV over the past year not find this atleast a little funny? I think it was clever, well written, and appropriate.

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 Post subject: Re: Letter from the Producer, XIV
PostPosted: Wed Jul 13, 2011 11:34 am 
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That's the hilarious part. Not that people find it funny (which a fair amount of people did), but just the large amount of people that are so vehemently defending the game that we all agree is pretty bad.

Aside from the crappy side "quests", the only thing they've tweaked in this game from last year when we were in beta was how exp/sp was gained. And even that was pretty minor, in the grand scheme of MMO updates.

No content, no real subquests, no mounts, nothing... They really don't deserve to have people defending them on web forums.

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 Post subject: Re: Letter from the Producer, XIV
PostPosted: Wed Jul 13, 2011 12:07 pm 
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Yeah I agree

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 Post subject: Re: Letter from the Producer, XIV
PostPosted: Wed Jul 13, 2011 4:06 pm 
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Can not pick which is more amusing to me, the actual posts or the subsequent ones...


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 Post subject: Re: Letter from the Producer, XIV
PostPosted: Mon Jul 18, 2011 2:27 am 
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I'm not surprised at all. The funniest part for me is when (for any MMO) people defend the company with the, "They're doing the best they can/They're trying" line. Like it's a bunch of developers just shrugging their shoulders for 10 hours a day with completely bad ideas and rehashing those bad ideas and then shrugging some more....wait, maybe that is what is happening...this is all sounding familiar...

I am surprised though as some found it in "bad taste". I have thought of alot of much meaner and tasteless things to say...and I won't say them... because i'm a mean, horrible person with a filter.

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