Letter from the Producer, XIV (07/09/2011)
Grrrreetings! It's Yoshi-P here again with a Letter that has the same number as our game, XIV!

I woke up this morning on an overseas plane and realized that our beloved game is actually not that good. I wish I had realized this sooner--I would not have joined the development team if I knew just how bad it actually was. I even played the game once about a month ago, but it just didn't sink in, I guess.

FFXIV was rushed into development because Yoichi Wada lost some money betting on goose fights and wanted some of Warcraft's market share. Rumor has it that only 3 people worked on the game, each for about 2 weeks, before it was presented to the executive board. Tanaka's powerpoint file didn't work, and he was quoted as saying, "Just trust me." Thus it was released into alpha testing.

In hindsight, none of us knew what we were thinking. An eight year old boy was brought in to come up with the jobs, abilities, and battle system. Fear not, emboldened adventurers, he has since been fired.

Once the game was released into beta testing, most of the development crew went on an 18 month vacation to Ouagadougou, which they are still on. We actually have not heard back from them, nor have we been able to find all the backup emergency funds or the porn collection that are usually here at the office. But at least they left behind some sketches of a black mage that we were able to release a few months ago.

The remaining crew here at Square Enix in Tokyo had a last minute board meeting, and one of our younger associates came up with the brilliant idea to avoid responsibility and just keep issuing random "Letters" and other such nonsense to try to delay the inevitable as long as possible. The dungeons we are "working on" don't actually exist. Ideally I would report that all the other upcoming content is fake as well except that we haven't mentioned any other content besides the two fake dungeons.

In closing, I just want to say that I am terribly terribly sorry. Just horribly grief stricken and ashamed. If anyone finds anything enjoyable about FFXIV, like Maim for instance, just write to us at the website and we'll be sure to nerf it.

Signing out,
Yoshi-P