I always use to wonder what then happens to people after suffering some huge tragedy after the NewsMedia gets done with them. And now it seems like I am one of those people. And it is so strange. So many things have happened since I last mentioned the hurricane: As most probably know, I got the amazing opportunity to study in Austria. Iggypu and I’s 3 year relationship came to an end. My grandfather has since past away and my grandmother has been moved to a nursing home that is far way from her home, she doesn’t even recognize me any more. Mother has moved to Alaska. Actually most members of my family have moved out of Louisiana. Only my dad is still left in the city.
I’m back in New Orleans for 2 weeks. And it is so weird to be home…apart from the reverse culture-shock..
It is the first time I’m actually seeing for myself all the damage done to both my home(which got about 8feet of standing water for 2 weeks) and city.
And I’ve been struggling to find words to describe my feelings… its not easy.
The other day I went to see my home for the first time, nothing has been done to it yet. The back door to my house was wide open, as most doors are in this area.
My mom’s abandoned car is the only one the street.
This was our living room.
My cats did not live long enough to eat the food we left for them on our counter.
We are still unable to get into my room, cause of all the furniture that floated to the front of the door.
It still all seems so unreal. The whole area that I lived in is totally destroyed, seeing it is like looking at old war footage.
Normally these streets would be packed with cars. This time of year the Japanese magnolias would be blooming, and everything would be pink and fragrant, but now everything living is dead and lie cut up in the gigantic landfill that the park has become. The kids who lived down the street from me would just be setting up their seasonal after school king cake and sweet ice tea stand. And of course, mardi gras would be starting.
Well… mardi gras is still starting… but its not the same at all. Most area’s in the inner city are completely destroyed and deserted. Where the rich live, uptown (aka the isle of denial), is really the only area that left unscratched.
My school has been turned into a makeshift trailer park, and my dad is one of the few houses on our street who doesn’t have a trailer living in front of it. But its kinda neat, cause some of the trailers have been decorated to look like mardi gras floats, its cool to know that new orleanians can still keep a sense of humor.
Its so hard to see all these things, especially after being in beautiful Europe for so long.
And I don’t know. I really just wanted to let people know that things are still fucked up here. Street lights still aren’t working, and there are people who still don’t have electricity… but are expected to pay for the possibility of having electricity. Most of the 100+ year old oaks, the pride of the city and avid tree climbers, have to be cut down. And entire neighborhoods are being leveled. My favorite spot in the whole city has fallen into the lake. My university is having its funds seriously cut, and many departments are being completely dissolved. And worse yet, because of fighting amongst local and federal goverment, the city will not be shape to survive next year’s hurricane season.
Everything is such a fucking mess. and it hurts so much to be back. I have so much respect for the people who still live in the city, especially those living in trailers in front of their destroyed homes.
I just wish that one day I find a sense of security and piece. I’m so afraid that I will now never be able to let my guard down, and after losing all my comics, games, and magic card…I’m so afraid to buy anything ever again. Blagh I don’t know. Thanks for reading.
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The lovers, the dreamers, and me.
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