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 Post subject: lol Jesus
PostPosted: Sun Apr 09, 2006 5:12 pm 
IS SO RETARDED
IS SO RETARDED
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FSU Professor: Jesus May Have Walked On Ice, Not Water

POSTED: 4:26 pm EDT April 5, 2006
UPDATED: 9:05 am EDT April 8, 2006

TALLAHASSEE, Fla. -- Jesus walked on water, according to the Bible, but a Florida State University professor says he may have actually walked on an isolated patch of floating ice.
Nof maintains that a patch of ice floating in the Sea of Galilee, actually a freshwater lake in present-day Israel, would have been difficult to distinguish from unfrozen water surrounding it.

"I'm not trying to provide any information that has to do with theology here," Nof said in an interview Wednesday. "All we've thought is about the natural process. What theologians or anybody else does with that it's their business so to speak."

According to the New Testament books of Matthew, Mark and John, Jesus' disciples were alone well out on the Galilee during the night when a storm came up. Jesus walked to the terrified men, who thought he was a ghost, got in their boat and the storm calmed, according to the accounts. In Matthew, Peter tried to walk to Jesus but failed because he lacked faith.

Darrell Bock, a research professor of New Testament studies at the Dallas Theological Seminary, lightheartedly dismissed the idea that Jesus walked on ice.

"I'm just cold to the theory," said Bock, author of "Breaking the Da Vinci Code," that defends traditional Christian beliefs challenged in Dan Brown's "Da Vinci Code."

"I tend to treat it as a real miracle," Bock said. "Almost all the nature miracles are challenged in one degree or another. It's usually a world view issue about what someone thinks is possible."

Other reaction to the theory announced Tuesday hasn't been so reasoned.

"I get hate e-mail on the average every three minutes," Nof said.

One e-mailer called him "the most stupid person on the planet" and then closed by wishing that he "go to hell where you belong."

An explanation of Nof's research appears in the April edition of the Journal of Paleolimnology, a scientific publication on the reconstruction of lake histories.

John P. Smol, a biologist at Ontario's Queens University and coeditor of the journal, said the article was published only after peer review by two experts who considered only the science, not any theological implications.

Smol pointed out the article itself states: "Whether this happened or not is an issue for religion scholars, archeologists, anthropologists, and believers to decide on."

Nof's co-authors are biostatistics professor Ian McKeague of Columbia University and atmospheric science professor Nathan Paldor of Hebrew University of Jerusalem.

They came up with the theory after studying records of long-ago water temperatures in the Mediterranean Sea based on core samples of shells and other animal remains taken from the bottom.

The records indicated two lengthy periods between 2,500 and 1,500 years ago were chilly enough during brief cold spells to form springs ice surrounded by open water on the Sea of Galilee, said Nof, a native of Israel.

The unfrozen water would have come from salty springs along the lake's western shore in Tabgha, an area archaeological findings related to Jesus have been documented. It takes colder temperatures to freeze salty water than fresh water.

Nof has calculated the odds of such conditions occurring are about once in 1,000 years, but during Jesus' time the cooler climate may have favored more frequent formations of ice springs -- about once in 30 to 160 years.

University of Manitoba geologist W.M. Last, the Journal of Paleolimnology's other coeditor, said it is a new approach to studying ancient lake temperatures and has potential for similar studies of other lakes.

Nof and his co-authors are nonbelievers, but he denied they set out to debunk the walking-on-water story.

"This is just what we say could have happened," Nof said. "How that fits into an individual's system of beliefs, I don't know."


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PostPosted: Sun Apr 09, 2006 5:44 pm 
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wait so jesus somehow got on an iceberg on a river/lake surrounded by the desert? what?
im confused lol

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PostPosted: Sun Apr 09, 2006 5:53 pm 
Spammer, to the max!
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I'll draw you a picture, hold on.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sun Apr 09, 2006 6:00 pm 
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Pleeease please please please excuse me for not having photoshop.
and for making it small


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sun Apr 09, 2006 6:52 pm 
Tough!
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Armani wrote:
Image
http://i26.photobucket.com/albums/c150/farrro/jesuswater.jpg

Pleeease please please please excuse me for not having photoshop.
and for making it small


Jesus would be proud

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sun Apr 09, 2006 7:23 pm 
The legend. Teh Ponuh™
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MAYBE HE DIDN'T DO ANYTHING?


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sun Apr 09, 2006 8:09 pm 
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Ponuh wrote:
MAYBE HE DIDN'T DO ANYTHING?

yea. the more likely explanation to me is that somebody either made up this story to make jesus seem more amazing, or they adapted jesus's name into a preexisting story. or, since so many seemingly fake stories came out of that time of human history, it may have been the fusion of several different fictitious storylines. of course once the story was created, everyone who passed it on would believe it like it were fact, strengthening the storytelling.

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sun Apr 09, 2006 9:00 pm 
Emo Immolator
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Psuedo-science attempting to explain myth. Excellent use of time and resources.

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sun Apr 09, 2006 9:04 pm 
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like my picture, right? just wait 'til I get photoshop for the next one, lol.


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PostPosted: Sun Apr 09, 2006 9:12 pm 
The legend. Teh Ponuh™
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Whisp wrote:
Ponuh wrote:
MAYBE HE DIDN'T DO ANYTHING?

yea. the more likely explanation to me is that somebody either made up this story to make jesus seem more amazing, or they adapted jesus's name into a preexisting story. or, since so many seemingly fake stories came out of that time of human history, it may have been the fusion of several different fictitious storylines. of course once the story was created, everyone who passed it on would believe it like it were fact, strengthening the storytelling.


Yeah but some people believe it like it was gospel or something.


...Oh wait.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sun Apr 09, 2006 9:20 pm 
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FYI, I used zazzle.com to make that picture into a T-shirt, and now wear it regularly around the University of Florida.


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PostPosted: Sun Apr 09, 2006 9:30 pm 
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lol that is awesome, I need a shirt like that too, don't cross the frickin beams

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sun Apr 09, 2006 10:04 pm 
". . ."
". . ."
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how come more christians don't have long hair like jesus? most christians hate guys with long hair, except jesus.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sun Apr 09, 2006 10:56 pm 
Onionhead
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Thunderstomp wrote:
how come more christians don't have long hair like jesus? most christians hate guys with long hair, except jesus.


the strict short hair (anti-long hair) trend was borne from the military, specifically becoming popular after men came back home after world war 2. military mindset is similar to religious mindset so it wasn't hard for the short hair trend to fuse with the christianity trend.

trends (i.e. short hair, religion, etc.) can be viewed over long periods of time, but their mechanics are on the individual level, meaning the people passing on the trend rarely peek out of their box to notice how much their trend has changed since it began. for instance, christianity had some of these characteristics: middle eastern, rebellious but passive, philosophical. now it's basically the exact opposite. everything but middle eastern, conformist but aggressive, and stuck in its ways. its quite similar to biological evolution in that changes occur on smale scale but can be better recognized on the large scale.

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sun Apr 09, 2006 11:04 pm 
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Yeah I tried to relay to my parents what "turn the other cheek" means in a war sense. I do not expect any nation to follow that though, just they are always crying about our country not following the Bible (parents)... and it says to not hit people back lol... revenge is evil in the Bible. As someone who studied Satanism in various forms... revenge and vengeance is a key principle in most of them. It is extremely hypocritical of someone who claims to base their decisions on Biblical ideals to seek out revenge. I on the other hand am all about revenge and I take every opportunity to get back at others who wrong me normally. Seperation of church and state...

Yeah Jesus had long hair, so what lol... not like they had a tons of places to get your hair cut back then lol.. and he wasn't exacty rich from what is explained. Doubt personal appearance was high on the agenda for someone claiming to be the Messiah.. that kind of thing gets people to either follow you or want you dead. Christians identify themselves with the conservatives.. which it is viewed as conservative to have short hair.. only pinko commie liberals have long hair lol.

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sun Apr 09, 2006 11:52 pm 
The legend. Teh Ponuh™
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Eternus wrote:
Yeah I tried to relay to my parents what "turn the other cheek" means in a war sense. I do not expect any nation to follow that though, just they are always crying about our country not following the Bible (parents)... and it says to not hit people back lol... revenge is evil in the Bible. As someone who studied Satanism in various forms... revenge and vengeance is a key principle in most of them. It is extremely hypocritical of someone who claims to base their decisions on Biblical ideals to seek out revenge. I on the other hand am all about revenge and I take every opportunity to get back at others who wrong me normally. Seperation of church and state...

Yeah Jesus had long hair, so what lol... not like they had a tons of places to get your hair cut back then lol.. and he wasn't exacty rich from what is explained. Doubt personal appearance was high on the agenda for someone claiming to be the Messiah.. that kind of thing gets people to either follow you or want you dead. Christians identify themselves with the conservatives.. which it is viewed as conservative to have short hair.. only pinko commie liberals have long hair lol.


God damn Eternus U R 2 XTREME 4 ME

First your drug usage and now satanism? Damn bitch, you bad. You bad.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon Apr 10, 2006 12:49 am 
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Fact of the matter is...many Christians walk around making others feel judged...or talk to them in a disrespectful way. This is the opposite of what Jesus did in the 4 gospels. He made people feel loved, and no matter what your past....all is well if you have faith in Him.

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon Apr 10, 2006 5:42 am 
Star-Spangled Subligar
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oh no not another jesus thread.

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon Apr 10, 2006 8:05 am 
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Yarr wrote:
oh no not another Ultima_J thread.


FTFY


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon Apr 10, 2006 8:49 am 
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Ponuh just because I played around with Satanism when I was 19 doesn't mean I am even remotely interested in it now that I am 27. It was a rebellious phase haha. I actually go to church, but I do not take Christianity as seriously as maybe I should lol. Satanism is more full of contradictions and bullshit than all religions combined (the Church of Satan model I mean). It is really that fucking stupid if you read into it.

My example of Satanism was in reference to how Whisp was saying Christianity has changed over the years. Passive to aggressive, etc. Forgiving to revenge seeking. Well not necessarily all Christians, but alot of leaders who claim to be Christians choose actions that aren't so Christian lol. Kotee is right it is all about faith though, that much is for sure. Even though people do things they shouldn't, doesn't mean they are all going to hell haha. That is where forgiveness steps in.

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