Computer wrote:
Im just trying to find some closure.
Shes is never going to tell you. She will only make things up and even if she is honest, it wont help. You'll never get the closure you want from her.
Depending on how long you dated or how deeply you were involved, the closure could take a long long time. It may never come at all. I think the hardest part about losing someone you love (because they cheated or left you) isnt really the reasons why. So closure isnt going to really help. the reason is that you now have to stop loving someone. I mean its not exactly as easy as it sounds. Even if they did something horrible to you. Its the conflict of emotions that leaves you feeling so frustrated.
Sure it might seem easy to hate her because she hurt you, but really this is someone (again depending on the depth of the relationship) you loved and to love someone is to care about someone so much that nothing else matters. Of course that depends on how much you loved her or what you consider love.
To overcome this problem you first need to figure out what love is to you.
Now allow me to be a little "Emo Yarr"
To love someone is to care about someone who brings you happiness. To care about that person so much that nothing they do can really tarnish how you really feel about them. To love someone is to look past their flaws and all the things "wrong" they do and to still feel love towards them.
I dont subscribe to the line of thought that love is something you can only feel with the person you are ment to be with and all that bullshit. There is no fate, there is no best path in life. You cant mess up with the "one" because there is no "the one". Love is just a level of how much you care about someone. To me once you really, really, really care about someone it becomes love and that to me is unconditional. Thats why its so hard to lose someone you love. Because you know deep down you can always forgive them, of course it would be a stupid move to ever be involved with them again. Forget but not forgive remember.
You feel sad now, but the reality is that one day you are going to replace her with someone else. You'll look back on this and not really understand how you
let yourself felt this way.
The answer to the problem in most cases is actually the reason for the problem. Emotions fade with time. Good and bad.
You can keep talking to her and look for an answer, but youre just feeding the emtions and not letting them fade. The best solution is just to walk away and try to figure out where your next step is going to be.