This milk worked well when I first got it, but within a few days it wouldn't hold a charge. I called their customer service department and, I don't know if it's in Bangalor or Ireland, but I couldn't understand a word that they said and they began to scream at me.

Finally, though, they sent me another one - but that wouldn't hold a charge, either. I'm beginning to wonder if this is truly meant to be a portable product. I still haven't been able to retreive my email and the video is murky.

It's a bit heavy, too, to wear on your belt. The good news is that it keeps your hip cool during this sultry summer weather - for a while.

I never thought I'd see her again. She left me in a fit of rage. Her hair a black matted mess of tangled wire.

I sit alone in my apartment trying to kill the dull pain with alcohol. Weeks have gone by since she left. I don't even know what day it is anymore. Work has stopped calling me, my family must think I'm dead.

The fact that I have filled my bathtub with nipples from local area goats must have freaked her out - driven her over the edge.

I take the Tuscan Whole Milk and a straight-razor into the rural area near my home ever other night. There are several farmers who keep goats on their property. The trick is to use this wonderful milk to lure the goat out. You allow the goat to suckle on the teat of bliss for a few moments. Goats may be stupid and ugly, but they know heaven when they taste it. Tuscan Whole Milk - is that heaven.

Then right before they finish drinking, I take my razor and slice off their nipples. The goat would scream or tell me to stop - but they never do - goats can't talk. They make a loud BAHHAAAWHAAGAAAAH noise, and then they usually passout from blood loss.

I take their nipples back to my house to put in my bathtub - but to the farmer's delight, I leave 1 gallon - 128 fluid ounces, of Tuscan Whole Milk next to their shaven, nippleless goat.

Several friends of my friends from California had raved about Milk for years. Now that Milk is finally available in nyc i was so excited i waited on line at Gristedes for 2 hours prior to opening.

Much to my dissapointment when I finally drank Milk it turned out to be bland and mediocre. Has anyone noticed it tastes like potato leek soup that's been watered down?

If you've been looking for something to quench your thirst LOOK ELSEWHERE! Milk is just a hipster fad, and youd be wise to stay off the bandwagon.

7 of 11 people found the following review helpful:
WARNING: Avoid at all Costs!, August 8, 2006
Reviewer: J. Matheson "water drinker" - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)
Tuscan Whole Milk ruined my life. I have no further details to add.

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16 of 16 people found the following review helpful:
A riveting tour-de-fource of bovine lactation -- A MUST DRINK!, August 8, 2006
Reviewer: Darcy (Cambridge, ma) - See all my reviews
Before "Tuscan Whole Milk, 1 Gallon, 128 fl oz", I did not consider my self a big Tuscan fan. Sure, I was familiar with Tuscan's other notable works, "1/2 gallon skim" and "drinkable yogurt", but neither of these gripped me with the texture and coherency I found in Whole Milk, 1 Gallon, 128 fl oz.


********Warning THIS REVIEW CONTAINS A SPOILER ************

On glass two, I found myself peaking at the bottom of the plastic container---not yet sure I could get through the entire 128 fl oz. But then, somewhere between oz 25 and 50, Tuscan had won me over. I kept thinking "who will it be? me or the milk?" Who indeed will be the first one down the drain. Me--receiving my cow juice via UPS ground, or the milk, for beginning to coagulate somewhere between the Hartfort drop-off and the Beaverly, MA sorting station...

A real glass-pourer; this milk should be required-drinking in schools across the country!

Ulgokiem sounds like the name of an anal STD. Why anyone even listens to that douche bag is beyond me.

i love how half of this thread is about racism in america and the other half is pictures of kittens

In a box?

Ulgokiem sounds like the name of an anal STD. Why anyone even listens to that douche bag is beyond me.

i love how half of this thread is about racism in america and the other half is pictures of kittens

Ulgokiem sounds like the name of an anal STD. Why anyone even listens to that douche bag is beyond me.

i love how half of this thread is about racism in america and the other half is pictures of kittens