i dunno, i thought it was funny, i lold'd irl

He's staying.

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COBRA KAI DOJO NEVER DIES
RIP Shiloh

lol

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PS3 Friend list name: Pantherxx Wii code 1629-0463-4657-0263 (revised 9/28/07) Steam ID - Pantherxx010 62BLU 75PLD Reactived 7/5/10 I dare you Click this!

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Some stories can't be told with words, some legends are meant to die

i love bots

turdburglar just registered

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Yeah I saw that one, he steals turds from your colon.

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Eternus Ifrit Server Atariii LS member
75 BRD with a bunch of subjobs

LMFAO

actually a turdburgular is when someone enter's a public bathroom when you're mid bm and tries to enter your stall. the rules were outlined in some inter-office memo that went out:

DUMPING AT THE OFFICE: HOW TO MINIMIZE EMBARASSMENT

ESCAPEE
Definition: A fart that slips out while taking a leak at the urinal or forcing poop in a stall. This is usually accompanied by a sudden wave of panic and embarrassment similar to the hot flush you get when passing an unseen police car whilst speeding. If you release an escapee, do not acknowledge it. Pretend it did not happen. If you are standing next to the farter at the urinal, pretend that you did not hear it. No one likes an escapee, it is uncomfortable for all involved. Making a joke or laughing makes both parties feel uneasy.

JAILBREAK
Definition: When forcing poop, several farts slip out at a machine gun pace. This is often a side effect of diarrhoea or a hangover. If it should happen do not panic, remain in the stall until everyone has left the bathroom so to spare everyone the awkwardness of what just occurred.

COURTESY FLUSH
Definition: The act of flushing the toilet the instant the nose cone of the poop log hits the water. This reduces the amount of air time the poop has to stink up the bathroom. This can help you avoid being caught doing the WALK OF SHAME.

WALK OF SHAME
Definition: Walking from the stall, to the sink, to the door after you have just stunk-up the bathroom. This can be a very uncomfortable moment if someone walks in and busts you. As with all farts, it is best to pretend that the smell does not exist. Can be avoided with the use of a COURTESY FLUSH.

OUT OF THE CLOSET POOPER
Definition: A colleague who poops at work and is damn proud of it. You will often see an Out of the Closet Pooper enter the bathroom with a newspaper or magazine under their arm. Always look around the office for the Out of the Closet pooper before entering the bathroom.

THE POOPING FRIENDS NETWORK (PFN)
Definition: A group of coworkers who band together to ensure emergency pooping goes off without incident. This group can help you to monitor the whereabouts of OUT OF THE CLOSET POOPERS and identify SAFE HAVENS.

SAFE HAVEN
Definition: A seldom used bathroom somewhere in the building where you can least expect visitors. Try floors that are predominantly of the opposite sex. Using a SAFE HAVEN will reduce the risk of your encountering a TURD BURGLAR.

TURD BURGLAR Definition: A pooper who does not realize that you are in the stall and tries to force the door open. This is one of the most shocking and vulnerable moments that occur when taking a dump at work. If this occurs, remain in the stall until the TURD BURGLAR leaves. This way you will avoid all uncomfortable eye contact.

CAMO-COUGH
Definition: A phony cough which alerts all new entrants into the bathroom that you are in a stall. It can be used to cover-up a WATERMELON or to alert potential TURD BURGLARS. Very effective when used in conjunction with an ASTAIRE.

ASTAIRE
Definition: A subtle toe-tap that is used to alert potential TURD BURGLARS that you are occupying stall. This will remove all doubt that the stall is occupied. If you hear an ASTAIRE, leave the bathroom immediately so the pooper can poop in peace.

WATERMELON
Definition: An enormous turd that creates a loud splash when hitting the toilet water. This is also an embarrassing incident. If you feel a WATERMELON coming on, create a diversion (see CAMO-COUGH).

HAVANA OMELET
Definition: Diarrhoea that creates a series of loud splashes in the toilet water. Often accompanied by multiple ESCAPEES. Concealment can be difficult, but try using a series of CAMO-COUGHS together with a brisk ASTAIRE.

UNCLE TED
Definition: A bathroom user who seems to linger around forever. Could spend extended lengths of time in front of the mirror or sitting on the pot. An UNCLE TED is a potential TURD BURGLAR and makes it difficult to relax while in the stall.

FLY BY
Definition: The act of scouting out a bathroom before pooping. Walk in, check for other poopers. If there are others in the bathroom, leave and come back again. Be careful not to become a FREQUENT FLYER. People may become suspicious if they catch you constantly going into the bathroom.

i'm saddened to say that i can think of at least one time where i have been the perpetrating turd burglar ; ;

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lol awesome post Jim

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COBRA KAI DOJO NEVER DIES
RIP Shiloh

So turd burglar is not the same as a chocolate thief?

Walk of Shame was a phrase used in my fraternity for when someone made a questionable hookup and were spotted walking the chick out of the house (usually early in the morning). Usually they would be treated to laughter and a healthy chant of "WALK OF SHAMMMEEE" if they were caught sleeping with a fatty, woman over 40, chick with one leg, etc. Excuses such as "I was really fucking drunk" were soon to follow.

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Eternus Ifrit Server Atariii LS member
75 BRD with a bunch of subjobs

What if she's a pirate?

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Some stories can't be told with words, some legends are meant to die

That still is shameful! Pirating is not a profession to be proud of. I wasn't the dude who slept with the one legged chick, that was Valensky.

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Eternus Ifrit Server Atariii LS member
75 BRD with a bunch of subjobs

so it was the fat chick? i hear they give the **WATCH YOUR EYES** best head cuz they are hungry

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1. yes fat chicks do give better blowjobs.. it's because they have to try harder than skinny chicks and they figure that since most chicks don't enjoy head if they suck dick like it's the fountain of youth, often, and tell you they like it, we'll forgive them for being unattractive.

2. walk of shame can mean any numerous things, it applies when you're walking a gorss chick out, it applies when coming out of a stall having the bathrooom reaking like shit, it applies when a gross fat chick walks out of a frat house in the morning

3. you guys need to all read 'i hope they serve beer in hell' by tucker max, it's fucking awesome.

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lol i was reading maddox's "the alphabet of manlyness" and my english teacher told me to read that, she said id enjoy it.

Everyone hooks up with a fat chick once (she didn't give that great of head btw). Though I didn't get a Walk of Shame because it was "No Standards Night" and was exempt. Thats the night where you have to get laid no matter what is out there. Usually its best to stay home that night and avoid the potential distaster (which I did all but that one time). For Valensky and Hugo, every night seemed to be "No Standards Night". Those two were some dirty bastards and easily led the fraternity in Walks of Shame. Gully easily slept with the most women, but he at least did decent the majority of the time. Randy, V and Hugo went for the EPOB (end piece of bread) aka the chicks nobody wanted. Randy sadly was usually too drunk to even hold a basic conversation, so he didn't get as many EPOBs as V and Hugo. I never had an official Walk of Shame when I lived in the house that I can remember. Good times.

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Eternus Ifrit Server Atariii LS member
75 BRD with a bunch of subjobs

Guys Id appreciate it if you didnt make so many "fat chick" comments. Its very rude and its very hard for mikey to enjoy these forums when you make such harsh comments.

So guy please, think of mikey before you open your mouth again and start slamming fat chicks. Just remember that every once and a while, one of those fat chicks is an awesome and wonderful person like our buddy Mikey.

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COBRA KAI DOJO NEVER DIES
RIP Shiloh

lmao poor mikey



that's suprising considering that it's borderline pornographic, maybe she can get sued.. oh wait... you're in college now? I think if you're an adult it's different, but that's pretty cool a teacher who knows maddox and tucker max, is she young and hot?

for those of you who don't knwo anything about i hope they serve beer in hell you can check out sample chapters on the author's site: http://www.tuckermax.com

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Your english teacher is attempting so hard to be hip that it's disgusting. Maddox was funny in 7th grade but he's just not anymore.

Touche..


Sadly i'll probably end up with a fat bitch. But yea i'll make us all proud and give her the pounding she deserves. And hey yarr since you know me .

HOW BOUT YOU PICTURE THAT>

Checkmate fucker.

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Job 10: 20
The mikey's have a plan. Djay isn't all powerful.

You rack disciprine!

lol this thread is awesome! gonna have to go find those books to read for sure!


lol @ Checkmate

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75THF 75RDM 75BRD 70BLM
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WoW
70 Druid Night elf Boulderfist

oh man thats horrible Mikey.

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COBRA KAI DOJO NEVER DIES
RIP Shiloh

naw im still a senior in highschool, and my teacher is like 55 maybe? not hot, haha shes just really down to earth. and real.



why do you say shes atteping to be hip? haha she IS hip, thes the kind of lady i would put down as a job reference, shes the kind of teacher that i would meet at starbucks before school, get an iced drink and talk about life, thes the kind of lady who reads chuck palahniuk, she is the older woman that everyone knows as being the fun one. shes the english teacher every senior at school wishes they had, shes the one who has a full class for every period, shes not trying to be cool, she IS cool, and the best teacher ive ever had, shes opened my mind, and helped me become who i am today, i can honestly say that after 12 years of grade school, she has made the most inpact on me by far.. her name is mrs, britton and she is facking dope.

and as far as maddox goes, i really wouldnt know, i was never into his stuff to begin with, but i absolutley loved the alphabet of manlyness.