I went to NY last weekend for my brother Billy's graduation, but there weren't enough tickets for me to attend, I was invited along for dinner afterward. So my dad, mom, sister, and Billy's girlfriend attended the grad ceremony while I went for a walk to find the restaurant (about 50 blocks away haha). On the drive up my sister and mom were arguing about what I was gonna do during the graduation, getting all worried I'd get lost or something because I don't go to the city, I don't like the city, and I haven't been there in years, blahblah. I ended up getting from the Lincoln center to the restaurant in about 40 minutes, pretty good time for someone with stumps for legs haha. So I found the place and still had about 4 hours to kill so I went over to Union Square park which was nearby and sat around for a while, then went over to this farmer's market/bakery tent set up. They had lots of kickass breads so I got a slice of carrot bread and a slice of pumpkin bread and went back to the park to eat. I say to myself, this shit is great, I gotta go ask how much the whole loaves are. So I get myself up and go back to the place, I go to ask this fellow what the price is for the whole loaves and for some reason I start laughing at myself while I'm asking. Immediately this guy I'm asking bursts into laughter, the guy is falling down laughing, he could not control himself.
"You got this whole stoned jesus thing goin on brotha"
How the hell do I respond to that? haha
Now I'm laughing at my apparently ridiculous question and laughing at this maniac old hippie black dude telling me I look like stoned jesus.
"Ain't you ever seen Laughing Jesus?"
"No what's that?"
"It's a painting...from the 60s or 70s or something, man he looks fuuuucked up hahahaha"
He calls some random lady over
"Hey lady, lady"
lady walks over
"You ever seen the laughing jesus?"
Lady responds, "No, what's that?"
"Ahhh it's a painting from the 60 or 70s"
Lady says "well I've never seen it...does it look like this guy?"
Points at me. hahaha
So that episode ends with the guy telling me the loaves cost $6 apiece and me telling him I'll be back in 40 minutes, I didn't want to lug around these heavy ass breads for the whole time I was there.
So I go back in 40 minutes, which is 20 minutes before our dinner reservation.
"I have returned"
Guy is friggin crying with laughter just seeing me. We stand there laughing at each other like a pair of goddamn maniacs. I grab 2 loaves of Carrot bread and say, "This will be the body and eucharist of the church of laughing christ"
This crazy fuck is dying, he is going to die from laughter, and his infection is spreading to me haha. So the 2 breads cost $12 together, I give him a 10 and a 5 and he hands me back the 5, "For you Jesus, it's $10" and for the first time in my life (besides sneezes) I said "God bless you" to someone. lol
As I'm walking away I hear this voice screaming from far behind me.
"Jesus! Jeeesus! It has no preservatives! You have to put it in the fridge!!"
I turn to this man, give him the buddy christ thumbs up, and walk off with my delicious holy carrot bread.
The moral of the story? Looking like Jesus is almost as useful as being a hot chick when it comes to special deals on street bread. haha
Laughing Christ:
Buddy Christ:
Deady:
I'm normally pretty even-keeled but I do laugh hardily.
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Some stories can't be told with words, some legends are meant to die
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