i love you guys and i will take all of your advice into consideration.
kami, i wont call right now or in a week, but the very next time somthing happens i WILL deffinatley call.

arrowyn guilt does not work on my dad, "Hearless" is one of the best words to describe my father. just last week, he was watching baseball on tv. Dimondbacks vs. some other team,, lol i didnt really pay attention, but i thought it would be a good time to talk to him, i sat down on the couch and started to tell him how i feel, he ignored me, so i told him everything, the way i feel about him, how badly i want to jes get away. he jes sits there and simply says "what a bunch of BS levi, i cant even belive you would say that to make me feel bad." i cried my heart out. full on tears, he jes sat there like nothing was even happening, glued to the TV. he would rather watch a baseball game then listen to what i have to say. he is the Hardest person to talk to.

i forgot to mention this in my post, but my fathers side of the family is very religious, my grandma is like a saint, we go to church every sunday (because i am forced, but i dont think i can do anything about that anyway) but i seriousley think my dad abuses the whole jesus thing, from the way he acts, you would never tell that he belives in god, he says that god tells him to do some of the things he does. i think its a bunch of BS.

xiona, you are right i am his first born, thus being his first teenager, i have 2 younger brothers one 8 and the other 11. might i mention that my father spoils the fuck outta them, anything they want, they get. my dad says he spoiled me as a child too.

rune, you are right, i dont have to pay for rent, yet. but i do have to pay for pretty much everything else besides food, but even then i have to pay for my food if i dont eat what is at home.

i jes wana do what is right, i dont wana fuck things over even more

From what it sounds like the only thing you can do is play this asshole's game for two more years then get the hell out and start your own life.

no he freaked out because i gave out my adress to some one i dont know persoanly, i understand where hes comming from on that one though, but ive been talking to aleks for a long time, in game and on forums so i trusted him. and he also made a big deal about it because it was a BLACK cat. he didnt understand why i wanted a BLACK cat. i told him i wanted a black cat because i wanted to name it spooky. he thought i was worshiping the devil (speakin of the devil a few months back my dad compared my girlfriend to the devil. i thought that was pretty messed up)i asked him if it would have made any difference if it was a black cat or a blue cat, and he said he was "conserned"

he also said that he was "conserned" because i wore tight pants, and occationaly straightened my hair. he thought i was gay. he took my flat iron and stole all of my pants and threw them away. i think one day im going to come home with gauges in my ears jes to see what he says, maybe a lip ring to top it all off. but then again, that might jes be stupid.

heh my parent couldnt tell me what to do lol. But anyhow ike just move out when your age is ok to move out so good luck ike I did helped my friend and she now have her own place and doing better than before also she making a crap load of monies.

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my friend josh said you can get emancipation papers basicly saying your old enough to be charged as an adult or w/e i didnt really go into it. but i fyou can trick your parent(s) to signing it your free to do what you want and you can just leave one day and they couldnt do a damn thing about it

honestly Ike, given that your dad's ignoring you and pretty much blaming you for a lot of shit, just ignore him. If he asks you to do something and you don't want to - don't do it. For instance, if he asks you to go to church, say no, that you don't believe it (if you don't, I don't know). It's going to take something drastic to stop that.

And if that doesn't work, wait 2 years and never speak to him again.

Worst part is if the other members of your family see this and do nothing. I could never sit idle if that was going on in my family. And if they don't know, tell em.

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60 Undead Warrior *Coming for you C'thun!*
60 RDM Ifrit *retired*
10 BST Phoenix *leveling up!*

i think the sad part is, he hates you because hes convinced his son is gay. that would explain the extreme resentment and control, he thinks if he changes the things you do youll be straight. now im not saying youre gay, just pointing out what ignorant people will do when they feel threatened.

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75WHM / 37SMN / 61BLM / 37RDM / 70BRD / 75NIN / 75RNG / 56THF / 37WAR / 37DRG http://www.myspace.com/dan_wyld

i know how you feel ike, i'm 18 and my girlfriend turns 18 in 3 days. her dad treats her the same, she's grounded for 2more weeks atm, he sold her car that she paid for, made her quite her job today because she went off campus today with all our friends for lunch. doesn't sound as bad as your situation but she's sortta trapped with him. i currently am lookin for work because we have plans to move out into an apartment by the college we'll be attending. if only he would sign over her car she could move in with her mom, but i guess that's not going to happen even though she paid for it with the 7,000 dollars she earned working the last 3 years. it's his leverage he uses to make him do anything he wants.

sometimes you can't support yourself on your own, but i'm glad to hear you have friends looking out for you. if i was you (but i'm not), i would ask for emancepation papers, i am the type of person who fights authority though, and i find myself in trouble because of it.

didn't read all the posts cause i'm low on time, but i hope things work out

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Bastok 10
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CoP2-5

ike you are your own man, at your age your losing touch with youre father. I don't want you to get hurt, but it just looks to me you need to run away and refuse to live with him. MAke him miss you, make him put you into consideration. God didn't put you on this earth to serve your father, god put you in this world for a purpose! I don't know what that is ike but we all have a purpose. And he can't lock you and make you not enjoy life. I know my share of pain, trust me i've discussed it. Don't let him hurt you and hold you down. YOu aren't a failure, if he doesn't care

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Job 10: 20
The mikey's have a plan. Djay isn't all powerful.

Wow...this is a tough one. I may be the only person on these boards who is the parent of two teenagers so my perspective is somewhat different. There are so many things I want to say, I'm not going to get it all said here.

I may have missed it somewhere...how old are you? A lot of the previous replies said stand up to him, get emancipated, run away or other stuff. I think what you do depends a lot on how close you are to that 18, legal adult mark. My concern is different for you if you are 13 than if you are 17.

First off, I agree your father is too harsh. But I believe he has your best interests at heart, he just has a damn poor way of showing it. I think a lot of the problem is that parents (my generation) don't understand the whole "wired" thing. He wants to eliminate all your "distractions" so you can focus on your grades, until they come up to his standards (which sounds like A-B, but you got one C). He doesn't understand that he is being overly controlling and destructive, he probably thinks he's "making a man out of you." I'm not making excuses for him, what he is doing is wrong. But I am trying to give you some perspective on him, so you can choose your path.

Sounds like parenting to him is all about power. He's keeping all the power for himself. It's possible that he feels powerless in his job or some aspects of his life, so he sees his family as the one place he exercises complete power. That's a messed up viewpoint and you are suffering the most from it. So the problem is, how do you change that...

A couple of suggestions: 1) Tell your mother how you feel. Even if she doesn't stand up to him, she needs to know the depth of your unhappiness. That should either force her to take some action on your behalf or to at least know that there is inevitably going to be a confrontation or loss.

2) Talk to both your parents about getting family counseling and get it. Even if it's with your parish priest or a lay counselor for the Church, you all need to talk through this and change some things, because you are so profoundly unhappy. Sounds like your father may not be receptive to this. If that happens, get your paternal grandmother and mother to convince him that it is important.

My heart goes out to you. I believe young adults need support and affirmation, not crushing control, in order to grow into the great adults you will be. The good news is you are safe and well-educated, you have a family that loves you despite their issues. I've said it before here...living well is the best revenge. Don't let him make you believe you are a failure. Live well.

PM me if you want to talk or if I can help you in any way. <3

I have an idea about what it is you're goin through Ike. I tried making peace with my dad several times but it never worked. He was always too drunk. Putting the bottle before his family. I told him "You've got one more fucking time to do this stupid shit and I'm gone for good." He was "ok" for a month then he got loaded and exploded on me about a game that I pay for on DSL in my name. So i moved out and haven't spoken to him in a year now.

Do what you feel is right and best for yourself. (Move)

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16

thanks ^^ iw will do that if i feel nothing is working

Ike man, take your computer when your dad isnt home and run away to Arims house, make a deal with his parents and hide there for like a week. See if your dad even looks for you, if he doesnt just stay there. Run away for as long as possible and see if he really cares about you.

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Running away doesn't really solve anything.

Reinheld, how can you run....

if you don't know what you're running from?....


wooooooooosh


Think about that.

Doesnt solve anything if its not for a reason, but this is a huge reason and I would consider it, even if it's just for a week of freedom.

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i wish i had parents that was around me to yell at me...

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I can yell at you at any time Lazy. You know I'm always there to be an ass with you

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Main: War75/Sam63/Blm71/Rng45
Sub: Nin37/Thf37/Whm37/Mnk30
Three nation: Done Zilart: Done CoP: Done

FU kay i ment that you fuckface

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I still rove you Lazy!

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Main: War75/Sam63/Blm71/Rng45
Sub: Nin37/Thf37/Whm37/Mnk30
Three nation: Done Zilart: Done CoP: Done

go die i hate you youwhore

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If you are that serious about your father Ike, it might be time for you to move out of the house ;/ I know it suck, but he can't stop you from doing so

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Main: War75/Sam63/Blm71/Rng45
Sub: Nin37/Thf37/Whm37/Mnk30
Three nation: Done Zilart: Done CoP: Done

unfortunatly it's all true from what ive seen/heard. But before you do anything gimma a call like couple days before so we can have a room rdy for you.

thanks arim, i am REALLY considering it right now.

ike. how old are you right now?


these are the advices i can help you with....

1. get your mom and your grandma secretly help you.
how? You move out live with Arim. making it look like you ran away.
if you think your mom is gonna blowyour cover. have your grandma herself do it.

2. Transfer schools. No traces of you.
If traces does come down. that's when your grandma steps in and talks why you "pretend toed run away".

3. Your mom isn't too smart with her decision...
Why i comment this? As much she loves your dad.. she should also understand the fact that, you're HALF of her too. not 100% all him. She should be able to have her own mind. Not his mind.

4. Do as Led said, Rebel towards your dad and say "Fuck you" Not in that literal term, but more like "God did not give me the purpose to be your slave, Why do I have my own mind, my own mouth my own hands and my own feet? I'll tell you why, My mind to make my own decision, my own mouth to speak for myself, my own hands to work anywhere and everywhere I, myself, choose to, and my own feet to travel anywhere Where I, myself, choose to place myself." (I'm pretty sure you can add more to this.. I can only pretty much start the beginning for you)

5. Prove your dad wrong once you have the opportunity.
You do appear to be a great "son" but being grounded for 7months... I have never seen any family grounding their youths for even more then 1 month... Most I ever see anyone get grounded was 2 weeks tops.


Anyways. I highly recommend you Save up all the money you can. You have a bank account. no? Make sure your dad absolutely has no access to that. Period....

Have a friend you trust (ex. Arim) to take hold of your account for FFXI temporarily (since i know you love FFXI) and save up money to move out of that slavery home you're living in.


Look i know you have MSN. If you catch me online send me a message. I'll discuss this issue more how to help you if you wish.

Good luck with the Days that is upcoming for you.

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